Growing Up

I thought growing up is a process of physically changing, like sharing a photo, hashtag #whatpubertydidtome and look now I am a beauty so haters can screw themselves. 

I thought growing up could offer me whole lot of options and I can love anyone I love. 

I thought growing up means freedom. 

It is not. 

Growing up made me understand that there's no such thing as true friendships, even when your best friend for half of your lives could put you in hell. It simply shown that I am just someone barely important and all of my advice are a bunch of bullshits. 

Growing up showed me what a coward am I. I do not have the courage to admit who is the one I like and who I don't. I just keep my life going as other wants because I am afraid of argument. Not being afraid of losing it, but I am just too weary for it. 

I had feelings for someone and I denied it. Cuz I am fucking coward.